That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
