I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
