I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do vagina's smell?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
