I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
