Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
