What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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