I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
