There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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