no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
