Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
did you just send me my own nude
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
