She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I love you.
Bad choice
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
