i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize