forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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