I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is wine microwaveable?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
