She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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