I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize