Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
