I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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