is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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