I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The air taste purple.
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