the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize