Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't deserve a penis
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
