question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
