Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
