Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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