nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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