Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
