Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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