Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
