Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
