I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He? As in you personified your dick?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
