I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
soo... how was my night?
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