Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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