Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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