i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
