stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
