How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
