Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
