this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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