Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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