This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
