you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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