She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
