So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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