I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
