She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
