I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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