I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
