I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
