brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
