My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
birth control should be required to get into college
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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