I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
