we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
