Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
