I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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