i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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