drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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