you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
