Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
