I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
