dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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