I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
