Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
