Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
